I Am Not the Main Character of My Life
The inner thoughts of a real wallflower.
Hi. My name is Abby, I am eighteen years old, and I just left home for college. Over the long summer of 2020, I have seen all of the posts about “romanticizing your life” and “making yourself the main character.” And while I have always imagined myself in a coming of age movie, my life feels like an unwatchable, mundane mess. If I am the main character, then why do I feel like a sidekick at best.
It isn’t like my life is completely boring. I have struggles, I have fun moments, and I completely relate to all of those quirky teens in the movies. Yet, I often feel like I am on the sidelines of my own life. My problem is that I always wait. I never want to be the one to reach out, to try new things, to just get out of my comfort zone. I can’t seem to make it to the climax of my teenage years because all of my struggles are internal and hard to relate to. So, how am I supposed to romanticize my life if there is nothing to romanticize.
I live a quiet life. I don’t feel the need to shout my story. I want to listen to other people’s stories. Perhaps I will never be the main character in my life because I don’t want to be. Maybe some people are just meant to be stars- and I simply am just a person viewing the stars from the safety of my balcony. I think that instead of striving to be important, popular, or successful, I need to learn to be myself. I need to embrace being a wallflower so that the stars can shine. And, sitting in my room, I think that I am okay with that.