Waiting For Election Results Feels Suffocating

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

If you looked at my Google search history, the top result would be “election results.”

Every. Single. Hour. Every. Single. 20. Minutes. Okay, every five minutes. I search Google to see the same thing that I saw the last time I checked.

For some reason, this election has my heart racing. I never thought of myself to be someone constantly checking the votes, yet here I am.

Perhaps I thought this because during the 2016 election, I could care less. I was fourteen-years-old and unaware of the importance of politics. If anything, I liked the drama it brought — it was free entertainment to see people argue about things that I thought were trivial at the time.

Now, I am eighteen, and I feel a bit different about the subject, to say the least.

My mind is cluttered with all of the possible outcomes. Whether my party wins or loses, it feels scary. Values and politics aside, I feel like chaos is bubbling under the surface. Extremists on both sides are lurking around the corner. What happens if Biden loses? What happens if Trump loses? One of them will be president, and a lot of Americans will be unhappy no matter what.

Waiting for the results should be relieving then, right? Could it be the last moments of “normalcy” before the storm? I’m not so sure.

Instead, this limbo stage feels like waiting for a death sentence. You know you’re up next, but you’re unsure when the impending doom will come for you.

Looking on the bright side also seems impossible. Optimism cannot save us from other people, it can only save us from ourselves. I have to be realistic about what the future will bring. Certainly, the weeks ahead will be treacherous, scary and confusing. If your party wins, are you even truly winning when there is so much negativity around you?

In the past day and a half, I wish I could go back to being fourteen. You feel less responsibility for the world around you. When the tumultuous times hit, you can hide behind the adults. Now, I’m an adult, and I have to face the times head-on.

Undoubtedly, we will all be affected by this election. Not only will the United States be changed, but also, this election is capable of influencing countries and governments beyond us.

The question I should be searching is if the future will end up good, or if it will end up in flames.

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