What I Learned From My First Day of College
The best lesson that tuition can buy.
Picture this: I am sitting in my dorm room, staring at the slightly peeling ceiling, wondering, “What the heck am I doing here?” Not because I am ungrateful for where I am, but because I feel like I am not up to the challenge.
All my life, I have dreamed of where I am today- going to a college in Kansas, having a full-ride scholarship, and studying something I truly love. If I am living the dream, then why does it feel so daunting?
The answer lies in my own insecurities. I sit in my classes and hear from people who are smarter than me, kinder than me, and more qualified than me. I feel like I don’t deserve to be where I am. I feel embarrassed that I have been given such a huge opportunity because what if I fail?
I will never be the best person in the room. Hell, I probably won’t even make the top ten most days. However, that does not mean that I don’t deserve to be there.
If I want to be a writer, then I am going to write. If I wasn’t good enough, then I wouldn’t have received the scholarship. I wouldn’t be attending a large university. And unfortunately, I would probably be studying a field that I hate.
Who cares if you fail a million times and succeed only a few times? As the cliche goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day — the same is true for your art. Most people do not wake up being the perfect human specimen. Fail ten times so you know exactly how to succeed in your eleventh try. Stop using your own anxieties to justify your lack of determination.
Now, at the end of my first week of college, I am staring at my slightly peeling walls writing — not because I am good but because I want to. So, why am I here? Not because I hit all the marks, but because I want to be.
Do what drives you no matter how much it scares you.
